Uncommon Women on Common Ground

I love to Network. I'm far more comfortable in a large room full of strangers than I am anywhere. I'm not sure why.

 Maybe it's because I got married when I was very young. My husband was in the Air Force and I was 20 when I moved from the West Coast (Oregon) to the East Coast (Massachusetts.) Other than my husband, I didn't know a soul. Every person I met was a stranger. I was lonely and I wanted to make friends. So I learned to introduce myself to almost anyone. I learned the only way to learn about being in the military was to ask. Over the course of 10 years and two overseas tours to Germany, I became excellent at developing quick relationships so that I could get directions, find a dentist, or hire a babysitter.

It wasn't until we moved back to the States in 1995 and started my own business, Extraordinary People, that I learned that there was a business term for all of this meeting & greeting. It was called Networking.
My first Networking event was a pre-conference function. The conference was put on my Women Inc., and was titled, "Uncommon Women on Common Ground." I didn't want to miss a thing. The Networking event took place the night before the program began. It lasted from 5-7pm. and involved wine and cheese. I'd never been to New York City and I'd never attended a conference. I came. I ate. I waited. I made small talk with a few people. I exchanged business cards and shook hands firmly (but not too firmly.) I had no idea what to expect. I secretly expected something magical to happen to me as a reward for attending this event. Other than the free food, there were no immediate results.

The next morning, I recognized two or three people from the Networking event the night before. I sat next to one in a breakout session and another at lunch. That evening I met a woman in the hotel lobby. 

When I arrived home I sent a brief note to everyone who had given me their business card. (I made a short note on the back of each so that I could remember them if I saw them again. Example: Carol Reed (brown hair, from Dallas, 2 kids, likes chocolate) When I returned home, I sent them each a short note saying to say hi and to invite them to stay in touch. (Whenever possible, I included something personal about them from my notes.)

For every 25 cards I sent, I got 3-4 responses. For every 3-4 responses, I'd make a deeper connection. 

I'm still friends with a woman I met at my second Women Inc conference in Long Beach, CA in 1996. She's a talented therapist from LA and her name is Trina O'Quinn. She was a wonderful resource then and a wonderful resource now.

 If you aren't sure how to Network, start by meeting people. Don't concentrate on collecting business cards. Concentrate on collecting relationships. Find something in common. Or discuss something memorable. Be a good listener. Be a good friend. Then follow up. Stay in touch. There is nothing magical about Networking. But there is something magical about the connections that you can make from Networking.

 Until next time...

Best places to Network

Sometimes I really hate organized networking events. For some reason, they make me nervous. I think its because at these types of events everyone is trying so hard to network.  You're either networking or being "networked." For me, the most successful networking opportunities are spontaneous conversations that sprout out of nowhere.  In line the grocery store. Sitting next to someone one an airplane.  An e-mail from someone who saw your post in an on-line forum.

Too often people think that networking is collecting a lot of business cards at the Friday night Chamber of Commerce Wine & Cheese Party. Yes, business cards are handy (they have all sorts of good info like Name, phone #, and e-mail address.) But more important than collecting business cards/contact information is creating new relationships. Real relationships...not relationships based on a hidden agenda.  (Can't you tell when someone strikes up a conversation to sell you something, not because they really care about getting to know you?)

If you want to build your business through networking...keep collecting business cards, but remember that it's more important to build relationships. Practice really getting to know people. Genuinely care about them and what they do. If they are passionate about their work, chances are they are good at it too.

People like doing business with people they like. And people like people who are like them. Leveraged networking is about tapping into the people that people know, and nobody is going to want to share their valuable contacts with you unless they "know you." Trust is the key to meaningful relationships and only time will truly expose people for their true intentions. 

One of the best tag lines I ever saw was for a woman's conference I attended back in the mid 90's.  It was titled, "Uncommon Women on Common Ground."  It was an event put on by Women, Inc. (a former non-profit organization for entrepreneurial women.)  I was sitting in the hotel lobby and started chatting with the lady next to me.  I had no idea who she was.  It didn't matter.  I was excited and my ride was late.  I just started talking. I told her I loved the conference and I was so glad that someone had put together such a great event for new entrepreneurs.  To make a long story short, she was one of the co-founders of Women Inc. She asked me to stay in touch. I sent her a thank you letter when I got home.  She invited me to speak at their next event and I later became their National Spokeswoman.

This taught me that networking takes place any time. Any where. Start today. Be yourself.  Make some friends.  Have some fun. And watch your business grow!